We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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