i just wanna soil my oats bro
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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