I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
