I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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