He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
