If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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