my vag is so smooth its legendary
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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