highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize