Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
