I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
NoShamevember. You game?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
