i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i wish my penis had a tongue
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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