First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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