What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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