He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
BRING THE BAGELS
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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