every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
