I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
