I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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