scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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