so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
