my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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