That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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