hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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