Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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