Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
