Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think this conversation is over.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?