just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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