fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
