Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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