So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
