i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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