Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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