I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
