We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
