"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
