we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
