Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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