I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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