Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
