she woke up with a sticky ear
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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