I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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