We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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