Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
