watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You ate ashes out of my bong
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize