I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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