They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
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She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
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His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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