but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize