Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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