I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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