I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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