Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
