I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
