So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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