Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
