She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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