I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
