he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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